Speaking as an advocate for mental illness I get to talk about my story. Once I have opened up to my experiences I find that many people become willing to share their stories so also get to listen to some amazing people. This connection is established when people feel that they will be supported and that an environment of trust existed.
Recently I was amazed when I was spoken to by someone who was listening to my story only to find that she played a role in my past and that she had s story to tell about me when I was going through the initial stages of post-natal depression.
This true story is one that is worth telling:
“My fate, unknown to her after that day, had in some way haunted her for all those years!!!
I was a guest presenter, speaking about depression and anxiety awareness, at a community function in a small regional centre not far from where I had lived 15 years earlier – this period in my life was when my son was born.
On this night I was accompanied by my husband who would provide moral support whilst sitting with the organisers and other medical professionals, some of whom would also speak on the night. A softly spoken, professional lady sat next to my husband – for privacy reasons I will call her Sandra. Sandra was supporting the cause for mental illness awareness in her role as the CEO of the local hospital.
It was during my presentation that something most unexpected happened. As I stood on stage telling my story I came to the part where I spoke of my experience of suffering post-natal depression. At this part of my talk I noticed that Sandra suddenly sat bolt upright in her seat – she placed both her hands on either side of her face and both her eyes and her mouth were wide open open. I kept speaking but in the back of my mind I wondered to my self what had happened to cause such a reaction. Sandra leaned toward my husband and they spoke to each other quietly but intensely for several minutes. It wasn’t long after that I finished on stage and returned to my chair.
I was still puzzled by Sandra’s reaction but I didn’t have to wait very long to find out what had struck her. As I sat down Sandra reached out and held my hand and said the most amazing thing… She said, “I know you!!!… I was listening to your story when I suddenly realized that I was one of the maternity nurses looking after you 17 years ago – you were so unwell, suffering from post-natal depression, and none of us knew what to do!!!”
She then went on to say that she had thought about me at least once a week for the past 17 years and wondered if I had survived having been bundled away in an ambulance, accompanied by my baby, to a Capital City hospital that specialized in mental health care. This memory had left an enormous impact on her as at that time Sandra had limited exposure to sufferers of post-natal depression. Sandra commented to my husband that she recalled me sitting forlornly in hospital and she asked me to attend to my new baby who was crying – whilst she couldn’t remember the words to my response she mentioned that my reply seemed completely inappropriate for a new Mum!!
Sandra vowed after that day that she never wanted to treat another woman with the terrible trauma of post-natal depression without having a viable and appropriate course of action available to her. Following this experience with me she dedicated her career to midwifery in order to help both Mums and babies in this area of need.
Sandra told me that it felt incredibly healing for her to see me again. We both welled up with tears! I was a strong and happy woman and she finally knew that there was a healthy outcome, albeit she didn’t know until 17 years later, but she finally now had closure. My fate, unknown to her after the day that I drove away in the ambulance, had in some way haunted her for all those years!!!
This strange reunion was quite incredible. Sandra’s long held memory of me when I was very ill was suddenly and vividly brought back to life when she saw me standing up on stage as an advocate for mental illness and she saw this as an overwhelming moment of triumph.
A nurse who had never forgotten me in my time of need was empowered to make a decision to follow her heart.
It was a very emotional experience and I know that I will never forget it.
When saying goodbye to Sandra that night I felt that I would haunt her no longer and that she would now have a good collective memory of the various times she had met me during her life – I could now leave her to live in peace!
