The New Testament Mathew 7:5 – “first take the log out of your eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye”.

I am a big believer in what you learn is what you live. As parents and mentors we all rate ourselves highly when it comes to sharing our worldly advice and providing guidance to the young people in our lives. For this we then think it is fair to expect obedience and mutual respect, but have we really done the best for our young people by passing on the message that we think they need to receive? The process of developing into a healthy balanced teenager and then a young adult is one that includes many forks in the road and each road has its share of potholes. But most importantly the mistakes that are made along the way are part of life and guardians must also be aware that they were also in similar shoes once upon a time – but the “that’s what we did in my day” approach is one that is likely to lack relevance or the true understanding of the concerns or problems being faced by our young people during some of the most vulnerable times in their lives. We also need to know what they want to achieve rather than what we think they should be looking to do before we can truly discharge our responsibilities as guardians in the best way we can – we must clear all obstacles, including “logs”, from our vision before we can see the world through their eyes!!

Warning signs that we may not have a good understanding of the problems being faced by our youth include:

• Sleep deprivation
• Irritability
• Smoking/drinking alcohol/drug taking
• Diet – weight gain/loss
• Withdrawn/bleak outlook on life
• Unexplained Crying
• Mood swings
• Anti-social
• Isolation/relationship breakdowns/exclusion
• Any form of Self-harm
• Low self esteem